Kate's Letters
by hersheygal
Summary: After Jack and Kate kissed, and after she had gotten kidnapped, Kate started to really miss Jack.To help herself deal with it, she wrote letters to him everyday. Total Kate point of view. Jate and Skate. COMPLETE with S.O.S. Part 2!
1. The Long Con

Chapter 1-Dear Jack

Disclaimer: I don't own LOST and some of the lines are directly out of the show.

A/N: I got this inspiration from a book I had where a teenage girl wrote everyday to her future husband even though she didn't know who it was. After Jack and Kate kissed, and after she had gotten kidnapped, Kate got withdrawals from not being around Jack. To help herself deal with it, she wrote letters to him everyday. Will he ever see the letters? We'll find out. Set the next day after Fire and Water. This is total Kate POV no Jack or Sawyer POV. Sorry!

Chapter 1

_Dear Jack,_

_I don't know why I am doing this. This is really stupid of me to write you a letter you will probably never read, but it is my way of talking to you. To tell you how I feel. I feel bad for all the secrets I keep from you, even though you have your secrets you never tell me. _

Kate looked up from her letter and looked out to the ocean. She didn't know really why she was doing this. It was totally childish, but it made her feel better. She gazed around her, trying to see who was around. Charlie was sitting playing on his guitar. Last night had been very eventful. Charlie had tried to kidnap Aaron. Poor Claire was very upset. Today, she felt something was off. Jack walked to the beach and she noticed he no longer wore the key around his neck to the case. What had he done with it? She adverted her eyes from him so he wouldn't think she was staring. Her gaze fell upon Sawyer, who was dozing in a airplane chair. She smiled and decided she would finish her letter later.

She closed the diary that she was writing in. She had found it in the hatch, and had decided to take it thinking she might use it later. She had never been much of a journaling person. Being on the run, there was no time for that, and even when she was a teenager she never did it. She was always moving. When she took the journal, she thought maybe it would help sort her feelings. Never in her wildest dreams did she think she was going to use it as a way to talk to Jack, even if he wasn't going to read it. She walked along the beach and looked for something to throw at Sawyer. She was glad they had put everything behind them and now it seemed like they were better off than before he had gone. Their relationship, if that's what you could call it, was so much more different that Jack and Kate's relationship. Even though Sawyer and Kate joked most of the time, they both knew they had some serious issues on the inside but Sawyer wasn't the kind of person to talk about those things so when he did Kate soaked them up.

Jack on the other hand, liked to talk. Well before the kiss anyways. They would always talk. He always wanted to know more about her. She refused to tell him anything about what she did though. She was afraid of what he would think. Now that the kiss had happened, and she had been kidnapped, they didn't even look at each other anymore. She shook her head. _Can't I get Jack out of my head for one second? _She thought to herself, before she picked up a banana from the fruit that she had picked earlier on. She threw it at Sawyer.

"Hey! What was that for?" Sawyer exclaimed, grabbing the banana.

"Couldn't find any rocks. Come on, time to change your bandages. " Kate said.

"Oh so now you're my nurse Freckles?" Sawyer asked.

"If I was your nurse we wouldn't have to go to Jack now would we?" Kate said.

Sawyer grumbled something unintelligible.

Kate smiled behind his back.

As they walked to the hatch, Kate suddenly got very nervous at the prospect of seeing Jack again for the first time since she had been kidnapped. She had seen him sure, but not face to face.

As they reached the hatch, Kate couldn't take it and she had to leave. "Sawyer I.." She couldn't come up with an excuse.

"What Freckles? Afraid of the doctor? Don't worry, he won't bite." Sawyer grinned.

Kate looked down." Yeah ok."

She knew that Jack and Ana had something going on. They looked like they were having more fun that Kate and Jack had ever had. She had even spotted them holding hands for a second but she just dismissed the thought. It made her mad that Jack was so nice to Ana after what she had done to Shannon. Of all people Jack was forgiving to Ana.

When they reached the hatch, Jack and Locke were having some sort of debate. She didn't know what it was about though.

"Kate told me I needed to change my bandages so here I am" Sawyer said.

Jack shook his head and looked at Locke as if to say _we aren't done yet_

Kate hid slightly behind Sawyer. And then he spotted her.

"Come over here Sawyer and I will do it." Jack said." Are you feeling anything different than usual?"

Kate followed Sawyer and sat next to him on the couch.

"Just the occasional annoyance." Sawyer shook his head.

Jack changed the bandage. Kate sensed the tension in the room.

"You don't really need the bandages anymore Sawyer but I am keeping them on just in case; Jack said.

"In case of what? Infection? I have a heck of enough medicines to cure that doc." Sawyer said.

Jack looked at Sawyer intensely. "Fine. Take them off if you want to. I won't be responsible for whatever happens."

"I'll be fine Jacko. I have Nurse Freckles here to help me." Sawyer said.

Kate looked at Jack to see what his reaction was. Jack just walked out of the room.

"Well Freckles, it's time for my daily swim. Let's go," and with that Sawyer ripped off the new bandage that Jack had put on him.

After Sawyer and Kate had parted ways at the beach, Kate had sat down to try to finish her letter.

_I miss you a lot. Even though you are within arm's reach, I miss you. You confuse me so much sometimes. I just wish things would get back to normal. But I know they never will. I will write you tonight, or tomorrow. Whenever I feel like it. _

_Kate_

She didn't know how to finish it. Love, Kate? No. That was too straightforward. Then she shook her head and threw the book a few feet away. It was a letter he would never see for goodness sakes! Then she heard someone coming and she quickly grabbed the book so no one would see it. It was Jack. He looked mad. He had a bottle of pills in his hand. He didn't even notice Kate as he walked by. Kate sighed and put her book away. She grabbed a magazine she had taken earlier from the hatch and went over to Sawyer. He was picking things up in his tent.

"So, something happen between you and Jack?" Kate smiled.

"News travels too fast around here." Sawyer muttered.

"I just guessed. "

"He was going through my stuff. A man never goes through another man's stuff." Sawyer muttered again.'

"And what if a woman is looking through a man's stuff?" Kate said.

Sawyer looked up at Kate. "Well that's a different story. " he said, with a weird smile on his face.

"Got you some new reading material." Kate said, throwing the magazine at him and sitting down on the chair.

"Oh yay my favorite." Sawyer said sarcastically. "Hey you want to read it to me?"

"What?" Kate asked, surprised.

"Lost my glasses on the raft." Sawyer said, and then threw the magazine at Kate before sitting down across from her.

"10 ways to tell if he is a sensitive man." Kate smiled.

"Oh this ought to be good." Sawyer said.

"Hi John." Kate looked up. He was probably checking on Claire again.

"Now there's a sensitive man." Sawyer said.

Kate glared at Sawyer. "He's taking care of Claire."

"John's got him self needs just like anyone else here."

"Not everyone is like you Sawyer." Kate said

"I guess that's why Jacko and Ana-lulu didn't ask me to join their little army."

Kate looked at him. What was this? They were planning an _army? _

Sawyer looked at her back. "Guess I'm not the only one on the outs with the doc."

Kate looked down.

"So are you going to read this to me or not?" Sawyer asked.

Kate tried to shake the feelings of jealousy away. She tried to read in her normal voice but she knew there were some tremors.

Suddenly it stared to rain. Sawyer got under the tent and Kate started laughing. She loved the rain so much.

"Come on Freckles!" Sawyer said, pulling Kate under the tent with him.

She looked him in the eye, and for a moment, oh what a brief moment that was, they shared a look. She would never forget it. Then they heard the scream that would change everything.

They ran to find Sun. Sawyer yelled at Kate to get Jack. Get Jack? She didn't think about it. She just did it. He luckily was still at the beach and hadn't gone to the hatch. He was sitting under the same tree she had been sitting under earlier, writing her letter.

She raced towards him. "Jack Jack!"

"What?" Jack stood up.

She looked him in the eye and forgot immediately about what she was supposed to say.

"S-Sun." she stuttered.

"What about Sun?" Jack asked. His voice was calm, which only added to Kate's nervousness.

"Sun! She's hurt! Sawyer is bringing her here!" Kate got out.

Jack was off. She stood there for a second, staring after him, then she ran to catch up. She was concerned for Sun, so she pushed her feelings for Jack away. After Ana had said that the Others were back, the little group had gathered to talk. Locke and Jack were at it again for the he second time that day. Then Ana asked where it was that they had found her.

"Outside her garden." Kate said. Then she listened for the rest of the conversation. They talked about going after the Others with guns, Finally they decided to wait until Sun woke up.

"Sawyer come on. Let's go look in the jungle for clues." Kate said, pulling Sawyer along with her.

They went to her garden and looked for anything.

Sawyer was certain that it was someone at camp who had hurt Sun. Sawyer was implying that it was Ana. Or maybe she just thought it was Ana herself. She decided she needed to talk to Jack. So she went to the beach and saw him with Sun. So she went and waited by the water. She started pacing. She hoped she could talk to him and not look stupid. She knew he would be mad that she would even think of Ana doing it since they were so close. She watched Ana from a distance. She was talking to Eko. She looked over at Jack again and he was heading towards her, well not towards her, to the water actually but she could wish it was to her.

"That bump on her head. Do you think she fell or someone hit her?" Kate asked him. He didn't even acknowledge her and he went to get the water. Her heart sank but she followed him anyway.

Jack shrugged and said in a monotone voice, "I don't know."

Kate was relieved he had responded. Now it was time though to ask him the question she knew he wouldn't like,'" Jack how well do you know Ana-Lucia?"

He didn't respond. She decided to keep going and explain herself. "It's just, the others told us they would leave us alone if we left them alone. So we've left them alone. Why would they attack a couple days later?

He finally responded. "Well if it wasn't them than who was it?

Her heart sank lower than it had before. He was giving her the cold shoulder and what she was about to say wasn't going to help anything.

"Like I said, how well do you know Ana –Lucia?" Kate said, looking at him carefully. He stood up rigid, gave her a glace like _how could you think of such a thing,_ then he left.

She shook her head. She knew that this would happen. She just had to always think of others and put them before herself. She just hoped that Jack would listen to her and keep it in mind.

She felt like crap now and didn't even want to write in her diary. So she walked on the beach for a while, feeling the water come up on her toes. Then she saw Jack and Ana from a distance and she went up to the trees away from them and watched them. She couldn't hear them but Ana didn't look happy. Maybe, just maybe he had confronted her. Which would mean he had listened to her and taken it into consideration. She smiled. Then Claire called Jack to Sun again and Kate spotted Sawyer sitting near them so she decided she'd go sit with him.

"Hey what's going on?" Kate asked.

"Looks like the little group's forming a posse and gettin some guns. I wouldn't be surprised if Jack got that horse of yours and lead the charge." Sawyer told her.

Kate looked down. That horse was something special to her and the thought of Jack on it made her want to cry. She then thought how wonderful it would be if he got on the horse and came after her. She smiled at the thought but then when she looked up Ana was looking at her. She stared back, desperately trying to read her mind. Then it came to her.

"The gun Sawyer. All Ana wants is the guns. She's using everyone!" Kate said. She thought of what she could do.

"Locke. Sawyer go to the hatch and tell Locke." Kate said.

"Why me?" Sawyer asked.

"Please Sawyer." Kate said.

She watched him go away to the hatch. She knew that people would be mad, Jack to say the least would be enraged. But it was for the well being of everyone.

She got up and went to her tent and grabbed her journal, then she set it down again. She felt guilty for what she was doing, so she didn't feel like she should write to him. She went and picked more fruit, constantly worried about what was going to happen. She didn't hear from Sawyer the rest of the day. It was uneventful for the most part. The sun set and she was sitting in her tent debating whether to write or not. She ended up not because Jack was making a scene. She went and watched it. Jack was furious. And for the third time that day, Jack and Locke were butting heads. She wished all the arguing would stop for once. Locke was being calm and that only made Jack madder. Then, they heard the gun shot. Three times in fact. And then Sawyer appeared. Her heart sank. What had he done?

Sawyer told them this whole thing about how his stuff got violated and that he didn't want the stash back and he just went on and on. Kate didn't really comprehend what he said. All Kate knew was that she had gotten used. Now she was more hurt than she had ever been. After everyone was settled, well if you could call Jack heading to the hatch for the night with Locke at his heals settled, then yes they were. She decided to go to Sawyer. Confront him and tell him how it made her feel. Well maybe not be all that upfront but upfront enough for him. It was more than she had ever done for Jack. So she went to him.

He was polishing a gun, as if to show off to everyone.

"How did you do it?" Kate asked.

"Do what?" Sawyer asked.

"How did you get the guns away from the hatch?" Kate asked.

"Now why would I tell you that?" Sawyer said.

Kate glared for a second. "You played us. You played me. " Now she was on the verge of tears. No way was she going to cry in front of Sawyer.

"Did you have anything to do with Sun?"

"What kind of person do you think I am?" Sawyer asked, appearing offended.

"What kind of a person do I think you are? I think you just want people to hate you." Kate said.

"Good think you don't hate me Freckles." Sawyer said.

Kate looked down. sawyer was right. After all he did, she still didn't hate him. Why? She didn't know. She just knew she was incredibly hurt.

"Why did you have to do this?" Kate asked.

"You run. I con. Tigers don't change their stripes." Sawyer said, then went back to polishing his rifle.

Kate looked at him for a second, then walked away. First she walked slowly back to her tent. Then she started running. She ran along the beach. Running always used to make her feel better. When she got in a fight with her step-dad, she would go out and run and think. Other people just go to their rooms and think, but Kate couldn't. Wayne was always following her.

She ran for a while, then when she got quite a ways away from the camp, she broke down. She stood right on the tip of the ocean. She was sinking. She didn't care. All she could think about was how lost she felt right then. She cried for a long time. She didn't think at all during that time, she just cried. After she stopped crying, she started thinking.

After they had gone to the Others and she had been kidnapped, she had put everything she had into Sawyer. She was happy around him. She put her problems away and just had fun with Sawyer. Now, she had neither Jack or Sawyer to be around. How was she going to deal with that? She knew someday things would be better for her and Sawyer. Maybe even one day Jack and Kate could be better too. But right then she realized, Sawyer was just her filler. Jack was the real thing. She decided to go back home. _Home. _Funny to be thinking of this place as home. She moved to walk but then her feet were stuck in the ground and she fell over. She started laughing hysterically. She felt the water rush over her. She just laid there and laughed. Finally she got up and walked to her tent. Everyone else was asleep. She grabbed her journal and began writing.

_Dear Jack…_

A/N: To be continued in the next chapter. Besides Maternity Leave, there really isn't a lot of Kate in One of Them or The Whole Truth really but I will still write for that but it will not be as long. Please review and tell me what you think.


	2. One Of Them

Chapter 2: One of them

Disclaimer: I don't own LOST.

A/N: Sorry I didn't update this sooner! So now we get to see what Kate wrote.

_Dear Jack,_

_Today was so complicated and upsetting really. I feel really bad for Sun. I feel bad for telling you it was Ana. Maybe it was Ana but it wasn't my place to tell you that. I know you and her are close. You would think I would be scared after what happened to Sun but I'm not. I still feel safe. I would feel safer if I was with you. Look how cheesy I am sounding? It's all because of you. I try to come up with things to tell you just to be able to hear your voice but I can't come up with anything. I hope I can come up with something soon. I'm sorry about Sawyer. I know you are mad at him right now. I am mad at him too if it makes you feel better…_

_Love, Kate. _

She didn't care if Jack never saw her letters. It made her feel better to imagine he could and saying love Kate made her feel even better. She felt actually ok again and she soon fell asleep.

The next day was pretty boring for her. Sawyer was gone most of the day with Hurly and Jack, Sayid, and Locke were in the hatch all day and wouldn't let anyone in it. So she spent the day with Claire. She had fun helping her with the baby and they even had some girl talk about Charlie. Kate carefully avoided the topic of Jack and Sawyer. That night she settled in her tent preparing to write in the diary before going to bed but then she heard Claire's baby crying and Claire shouting. She ran to see what was happening.

A/N: VERY Short chapter. I didn't have much to go on so that's why. The next chapter will definitely be long.


	3. Maternity Leave

Chapter 3: Maternity Leave

Disclaimer: I don't own LOST

A/N: ok this might run a little long because Kate is in this episode a lot.

Claire was yelling and the baby was crying. She ran over there to see what had happened.

Kate saw that Danielle was there.

"Hey! Hey! What are you doing here? Get away from Claire! Get out of our camp!" Kate yelled at her and Danielle gave Claire one last look before she left.

"Are you ok Claire? What did she say?" Kate asked Claire. Claire looked like she was in a daze.

"She said there was something wrong with Aaron." Claire said.

"Do you think she's right?" Kate asked her.

"I don't know what to think. There is obviously something wrong with Aaron but Danielle is saying that it is because of the others. Jack is coming to check on Aaron." Claire said.

"Well I suppose something could have happened. But I am sure everything is fine. It's good that Jack is coming. I am going to go get some water and I'll be back." Kate smiled comfortingly at Claire and walked away. She wanted to know what Jack was going to say but she didn't want to be with Claire when Jack was there. So she leaned against a tree not too far from Claire tent so she could hear the conversation when Jack came.

"Hi Claire. Locke told me that the baby isn't doing well?" Jack asked Claire. He set his backpack down and sat down across from Claire. He motioned for Claire to give him the baby.

" I really appreciate you coming down here in the middle of the night." Claire said.

"No problem." Jack smiled.

"It's just not like him. He usually always sleeps though the night and there's this rash too." Claire said.

"Babies get sick Claire." Jack replied as he continued to examine Aaron.

"But he has a fever and a cough." Claire said.

"Perfectly normal." Jack said.

"He hasn't been eating at all." Claire said.

"Claire, The baby is fine. It's probably just a small virus that is typical for children this age. The rash is a sign of it."

"What if it's not? What if it is something really bad, like an infection?

"Infection? Where'd you get that idea?" Jack asked.

Kate had been watching the scene unfold. Jack was so good at this. But Jack needed to know about Rousseau.

"Rousseau was here." Kate told Jack. She came forward. She watched for his reaction. Jack turned to Claire, completely ignoring Kate. "What did she say to you?"

"She said that she knew he was infected." Claire replied.

She knew that Jack was trying to calm Claire down, but couldn't he at least have acknowledged her presence?

"There's no infection Claire. No one else has gotten sick have they? Just let this fever run its course. Everything will be ok. I'll come back in a few hours and check on him again. Okay?" Jack asked.

"Okay." Claire nodded but Kate could tell that she didn't think it was ok.

Kate watched Jack leave then she sat down where Jack had sat.

"Hey I'm sure if something was wrong Jack would know." Kate said comfortingly.

"I know. But what if he's wrong? What if there really is something wrong."

"There's isn't. " Kate said firmly. "Do you want me to stay with you to help you with Aaron?"

"I would love that but it's not necessary. I can take care of him." Claire said.

"Ok. If you need me for anything, come get me." Kate said, and she left.

Kate walked to her tent and sat down. She wasn't sure if she was going to sleep. Jack was still mad at her for sure. Or maybe Jack was just preoccupied with thoughts of the hatch and the guns. But she knew it wasn't just that. She really missed talking to him. He always had such good advice. Kate lay down to sleep and after a while, she did fall asleep.

The next morning, Kate wrote in her diary.

_Dear Jack,_

_I am starting to have this idea that you don't want to talk to me, that you want nothing to do with me. I hope that is not the case, because I really miss you. I tried last night. I said something and you didn't even acknowledge me. Maybe it was because you were trying to keep Claire calm, but I feel otherwise. Maybe I am supposed to move on? Did you move on? Maybe you did…_

_Kate._

Thinking that last thought, that Jack had moved on and didn't want anything to do with Kate, made her angry. It made her want to do something that would make Jack mad. But what? She couldn't' think of anything. So she decided to put everything she had into the people around her. And Claire needed her right now.

Kate walked to Claire's tent. Claire was sitting with Aaron, who was crying. Claire looked like she hadn't slept.

"Hey Claire, how is Aaron?' Kate asked sitting next to Claire.

"He's doing about the same." Claire seemed frantic. " I need to get a vaccine for him!"

"Claire, he is not infected. Did Jack come back during the night?"

"Yes he did and he said that the baby seemed to be doing a bit better but Kate, mothers know these things. He's not well."

"When has Jack been wrong about this sort of thing?" Kate asked her.

"When Ethan came and tried to kidnap me and Jack thought it was just apart of the pregnancy and then the next day Ethan took me and Charlie." Claire said.

Kate sighed. _Good going Kate.. good going._ She thought to herself.

"Ok yes Jack thought it was apart of the pregnancy. But as soon as he learned you were gone, he went looking for you and didn't stop until we found Charlie."

"If Jack had listened to me, then none of this would have ever happened and Aaron would probably be ok."

"Claire, don't blame Jack for this. Aaron is not infected. Jack felt bad for weeks for thinking that you were hallucinating." Kate couldn't believe herself. She was sticking up for someone that hated her at that moment.

"I know it wasn't Jack's fault." Claire seemed to calm down a bit. "I just want to blame someone you know? I just wish I could remember what happened then I would know what to do."

"You really think he is infected huh?" Kate asked her

"Yes I do."

Kate sighed. "Ok. Then I believe you. I will help you whatever way I can."

"Let's go to Libby." Claire said.

"Libby?" Kate asked.

"Yeah. She said she was a psychologist." Claire said.

Kate and Claire went to talk to Libby.

"Are you sure about this? We don't really know her." Kate said.

"I think she can help me." Claire said.

Libby and Hurley were by the ocean talking.

"So you're a shrink right?" Claire asked.

"Um I'm a psychologist but shrink works too."

"Ok good. Can you help people remember things?"

"It depends on what you need to remember."

Claire then told Libby all about what had happened before she had been kidnapped.

"Claire, I don't think that your memories are gone, I think you are blocking them." Libby said after Claire finished talking.

"Then I need you to unblock them. There is something wrong with my baby and they did something to him." Claire said.

Kate's heart sunk. Claire was willing to do anything to keep her baby safe and Kate couldn't blame her.

"Ok." Libby nodded. Libby looked at Kate. "Kate we are going to go over there into the jungle for a while and talk. Could you stay here with the baby?"

"Sure." Kate said and took Aaron from Claire.

They walked into the jungle and sat talking.

"Hey Aaron. How are you? I hope that we can get you to feeling better soon." Kate smiled at him.

Aaron was still crying. He hadn't stopped all night.

"You know, I used to want a baby. I almost had one too, But it didn't work out." Kate said, and she stared out onto the ocean. Pain ripped through her heart as she thought of the memory.

Suddenly she heard Claire screaming. She ran to find her.

"It was Ethan. I saw him!"

Libby was trying to comfort her. "Claire, it's ok."

"No it's not! "

"What happened?" Kate asked.

"I don't know." Libby said.

'What did you do!" Kate asked.

"Nothing." Libby said.

"Do it again!" Claire yelled at her.

"No Claire, you were screaming. "Libby said

"I remembered! I saw Ethan and he was giving me a exam!" Claire said. "I was drugged and he did something for me."

"Claire, you need to come down. It's not good for Aaron." Kate said.

Claire took Aaron from Kate. "You know what, Aaron is sick and I need to find that place It is real. There's medicine for Aaron. I need to find it. Kate, please help me find it." Claire looked at Kate with pleading eyes.

Kate looked back at Claire. "You're going with or without me huh?"

"Yes" Claire said.

"Ok. Give me ten minutes to get ready. Get your stuff and get Sun to watch Aaron." Kate said.

"Thanks Kate!" Claire said, and with that she was off.

Kate sighed. She would need a gun for protection, which meant she had to go to one person. Sawyer. The man she loved to despise. Wait, did she just say that? Yes she did.

Kate walked over to him before she changed her mind.

"I need a gun. And you don't get to ask why." Kate said.

Sawyer looked up from his book. "Well, Thelma, seeing as I got all the guns, I do get to ask why."

Thelma… nice.. "No. You don't."

"Yes I do. Watch. Why?"

Kate rolled her eyes. She should have known he would have been like this. "Just give me a gun Sawyer."

"Look at this, I found a new paira glasses, you like them?"

"Ok look. I'm going into the jungle to look for Rousseau."

"The French Chick? Why?"

"The baby is sick and Claire thinks she knows where some medicine might be."

"I got medicines."

Wait, was Sawyer actually acting compassionate? It seemed when it came to babies that Sawyer seemed nicer. Kate would love to see him as a father but she wasn't sure she'd want him to be the father of her children, if she ever had children.

_Stop thinking that way. _She chided herself. What was with her and thinking about children lately, especially with _Sawyer _of all people.

"She thinks he's really sick, as in quarantine sick." Kate said.

"Well what do you think?"

"I think that she's a little too worried but she's going with or without me."

"No boys allowed huh? Ok what do you want, nine millimeter or rifle?"

Kate smiled. Now he was talking her language. "Nine millimeter. It would be hard to carry a rifle."

"Ok then." And Sawyer magically pulled one out of his jeans and gave it to her, but not before pulling it away again. "You promise to give it back?"

"No." Kate said, and he gave it to her.

"Fine then. " he muttered. " I see how it is."

She gave him a small smile and walked away to where Claire was with Sun.

"You ready to go Claire?" Kate asked her.

"Aaron, I have to go now. Don't cry. Shhhh. I'll be back really soon and I'm gonna make you all better. Okay?"

"Are you ok?" Kate asked her as they left.

"Yeah. I'm fine." Claire said.

They walked through the jungle in silence for a while, and Kate concentrated on looking for signs of Danielle. She wanted to do something to make Jack angry, and she was doing it. She knew he would be mad that they had gone out with only telling a couple of people. That is, if he still cared about her.

"What do you know about Rousseau?" Claire broke the silence.

"Not much." Kate replied.

"You spent all that time with her when you went to the Black Rock. You must have talked about something." Claire said.

"Her ship crashed here. Her and her research team were stranded here." Kate said.

"What happened to the rest of her team?" Claire asked.

"They died."

"How?"

Kate was not going to tell her how. Claire probably wouldn't like it very much. "Tracks are gone. Trail ends here."

"Kate." Claire looked at Kate in the eye." How did they die?"

"She killed them." Kate gave in.

"What?" Why would-?" Claire was interrupted.

"Because they were infected. You believe me now don't you?" Danielle appeared.

The next couple of hours were very eventful. Danielle took them to the spot where Claire had scratched her and then they had found another hatch. It had been very interesting and Kate hadn't really had a chance to comprehend it yet. Claire and Kate were now walking back to camp. Danielle had left a little earlier.

"So what do you make of all this?" Kate asked Claire, wanting to break the silence.

"I'm not sure. Right now I am concerned about Aaron." Claire replied

"Danielle wanted me to kill her. Before, when we were walking in the jungle and she was shaking you. I pulled out my gun and you went ahead. She asked me to shoot her. Of course Iwouldn't do that. But it was so… I can't even explain it."

"Well Danielle is insane. She just told me to kill Aaron if he was infected!" Claire said.

"Yeah I know. I do feel bad for her though. I mean she's been here with no one to talk to for sixteen years! " Kate said.

"Yeah. I'm just concerned about Aaron right now. I hope Jack is at the beach when we get back so I can ask him to check on Aaron." Claire said.

Without realizing it Kate rolled her eyes. Can there be one conversation she can have without it coming to Jack.

"Well if he's not there he is probably at the hatch and I can go get him." Kate couldn't believe she had said that. As they made their way to the beach Kate was desperately hoping Jack was already there so she wouldn't have to get him.

Sure enough, he was at the beach.

"Ok Claire. Let me know what Jack says about Aaron. I'm going to go put my stuff in my tent." Kate said as they parted ways.

Kate walked towards her tent and put her bag in the tent, as she left the tent Sawyer walked by.

"So you finally came back huh?" Sawyer said

"Yeah."

"Did you find anything?" Sawyer asked.

"Nope."

'Well what happened?"

"Nothing Sawyer. I am tired ok?" Kate was still mad at him for what he had done.

"Well can I have the gun back?"

"No Sawyer." And Kate walked off. She saw that Jack had left and Claire was alone so she wanted to see how Aaron was doing.

"How is he?" Kate asked Claire.

"Jack says he is doing much better." Claire seemed really happy.

"Oh that's wonderful Claire."

"Yeah I know. You told me so." Claire smiled.

"I wasn't going to say that Claire." Kate smiled back. "How was Jack? "

"Jack?" Claire was confused.

"Well I haven't talked to him in a while so I was just wondering."

"Well he seemed really distracted."

"Oh yeah?" Kate said. "I think there's something going on in the hatch. I really should go down there and see what's going on but .." Kate trailed off.

"What happened Kate?"

"What do you mean?"

"Between you and Jack. The last week or so you haven't talked at all."

"Yeah we have.' Kate looked away.

"Kate you can tell me you know." Claire seemed to be a bit hurt.

"I know. I just don't want to talk about it." Kate said.

"Yea okay." Claire said.

Kate felt bad but she really didn't want to talk about it.

The rest of the night was uneventful. Kate went to sleep early because the day had been very eventful. She wasn't sure if she should tell people what had happened and what they had found. It probably was important to tell people, but she just didn't want to.

A/N: Well I tried to shorten it by not having the whole going into the hatch thing but it still turned out long. Well please review!


	4. The Whole Truth

Chapter 4: The Whole Truth

Disclaimer: I don't own LOST.

A/N: Sorry for the long wait. Here is the next chapter and there will be more letters this time around..

_Jack,_

_I can not wait to see the look on your face when you find out where Claire and I went… but maybe I shouldn't tell you. Maybe it would be better not to. I know you'll be even angrier if I wait to tell you.. and I'm sorry to say, but I want to see you angry after how you've treated me. I know that's not the best thing right now since you are probably busy with something important, but still you should at least talk to me. You're not acting like the Jack I met, and it's scaring me. What are you hiding from me?_

_Kate_

Kate sighed in frustration. She had started the letter angry and with a mission, by the end of it she was confused and sad again. She slammed the book and put it back in her backpack and swung her backpack over her back and left her tent, hoping to find some sort of distraction to get her through the day.

Kate saw someone out of the corner of her eye and realized it was Ana running. She stopped in front of her tent and seemed to be talking to someone. Kate got closer trying to see who it was, while trying to stay out of view. She could only hear snippets of the conversation as she hid behind the tree and she didn't understand it at all.

"We've got a man…. Others" Locke said.

Ana said something then Locke said, "Me and Jack."

Kate's ears perked up. What was this now?

"How long…..been …. There?" Ana asked.

Kate was really confused now.

"…Days…. Others…cop…." Locke said.

"Does Jack know…. Me… this?" Ana asked.

"…problem…Jack's permission.." Locke said.

Kate had no idea what was going on. A man? Did Jack and Locke find one of the Others?

By now Ana and Locke had left and Kate decided to follow and see what happened.

As she followed them, she decided to make her presence known and to see how they would react.

Kate walked onto the main path and caught up with them. "Hey! What's going on?"

"Nothing. " Ana flashed her a smile.

"You guys look like you're on a mission or something." Kate tried again.

"Oh we're just walking to the hatch." Locke said uncomfortably.

"Well can I come along?" Kate looked at their reactions.

Ana glanced at Locke.

Locke didn't miss a beat. "Sure."

Kate was disappointed. _Oh well. Maybe when I get in there I'll find out what's going on._

Ana then engaged with Locke in a conversation about some of her problems on the other side of the island and Kate just fell silent.

When they reached the hatch, Kate began looking around for anything to be looking out of place. Everything looked fine.

Jack was sitting on the couch and when they arrived he got up. "Hey." He said, looking at all three of them, but avoiding Kate's gaze.

Kate stood still and tried to figure out the knowing glances the three of them were giving to each other. Kate just wanted to yell at them telling them she wasn't stupid.

It was silent in the room and finally Jack cleared his throat. "I think I'm going to go take a shower." Then as he walked past the three, he gave a knowing look to Locke. The look was saying, "Why did you bring the two of them in here?" but Kate had no idea what the look had meant. And right before Jack disappeared into the other room, he gave Kate a small nod and she just looked away.

Locke and Ana stood there looking at Kate. Kate felt like the odd man out and she realized she wasn't going to get any information out of them so she decided to leave.

"Well I'm just going to go then." Kate said. "I have to get to the beach to.. talk to Claire."

"Ok." Locke said.

"Yeah. See you later.'

_Well try not to stop me there.._ Kate thought.

Kate walked onto the path and finally decided to branch out and sit by herself. Sitting didn't help her any though so she took out her notebook again.

_Jack,_

_Interesting how I've stopped with the formalities huh? I'm still mad at you, but more hurt than anything. I mean how can you hide whatever is going on from me? Who all knows about this little thing? Of course, I am hiding something from you too, so I guess we are both to blame. I would love to talk to you, but just looking at you scares the hell out of me. Why do you look at me like that? It drives me insane. I get all tingly inside and I can't handle it. I miss you so much. I just want to touch you, to talk to you. HOW DO YOU FEEL? I can't take this much longer. _

_Kate….._

Kate sat there for a long while, not sure of what to do. Things were getting really complicated around here.

Kate finally got up and started to walk again.

Suddenly, she ran into Sun.

"Are you ok?" Kate asked.

"Yes. Yes I am fine." Sun looked kind of flustered.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Sun forced a smile, hiding something behind her back.

"Sun please tell me. You know we are friends." Kate said softly and put a hand on her arm. She felt it tense up. Then suddenly it relaxed again.

"Ok." Sun submitted, then brought out the test from behind her back. Kate gasped.

"Sun? Do you know yet?"

"No. You see, I'm really nervous and I can't seem to read the instructions on how to know." Sun said, kind of embarrassed.

"Well here let me do this with you. You really should do this with someone for support." Kate was wondering where Jin was but considering what happened she figured it was something she shouldn't question.

After Kate read the instructions, they sat down on the beach and talked. Finally it was time.

'You're pregnant." Kate smiled.

"Is it 100 percent sure?" Sun asked.

Kate looked at her, then signed innerly. She knew where this was going to have to lead. "There's only one way to find out."

She stood up. "I'll go get Jack. You stay here all right?"

Sun looked up at her. "Ok."

Kate saw that she looked very troubled and it puzzled Kate. But she didn't think about it and she went to the hatch. Once again, she was going to Jack in order to help someone else, and the funny thing was, it was for Sun again.

She reached the hatch, her heart slightly beating faster, and spotted Jack leaning against the armory door, staring down so he didn't notice Kate coming in.

"What are you doing?'" Kate asked.

Jack looked up, obviously startled. "I'm uh.. just standing here… thinking."

Kate couldn't help but feel angry again because she knew he was hiding something, but she was grateful for feeling angry because that's how she wanted to feel towards him.

"Do you think that you could come down to the beach for a little bit?" Kate asked, enjoying the prospect of knowing something he didn't.

"Why?"

"Sun needs you."

Jack straightened up. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing too serious." Kate said calmly, but in a way that she knew would irritate Jack, and sure enough, it did.

"Well if it's not serious then why do I need to come now?"

"Just trust me."

Jack stared at her for a second, then sighed and walked into the other room to find Locke. Kate followed him.

"John? I have to go to the beach for a while. You think you're ok here with everything?"

John nodded from the spot at the computer. "Yeah."

"Do I need anything?" Jack asked Kate.

Kate shrugged nonchalantly. "No I don't think so."

Jack seemed to be thinking for a minute. "Well since I'll be going there anyways I might as well take my backpack. There's always going to be someone who will need help."

Kate watched as Jack grabbed his backpack.

"Ready?" He asked.

"Yep."

Jack began walking and Kate followed him

As they walked Kate felt the awkward silence between them, but she was enjoying his presence none-the-less. It was hard to get the doctor all to yourself. But as they got closer to the beach, Kate became less confident. _He could at least ask me how I am.. of course I could do the same..Oh why do we have to be so stubborn? _Without realizing it, Kate sighed loudly.

"What?" Jack looked behind him at her.

"What?"

"You sighed."

"Yeah so?" She made it sound harsher than she had intended.

Jack looked taken aback. "Is something wrong?"

_Yeah. You've been avoiding me and I miss you so freakin' much and you don't seem to care at all. _"I'm fine." She said, looking at the ground. That seemed to satisfy him and they moved on.

They finally reached Sun and Jack began talking to her. Kate wasn't really listening. She was looking at Jack, more like staring at him. She looked at his eyes first. Those big, caring eyes. The nose even looked more handsome than usual. She brought herself to look at his lips. Oh how she missed those lips. They'd not kissed long, but she could still taste him. She shook her head a little and tried to pay attention to the conversation.

"Oh it's possible." Jack said. He looked happy. So Sun was pregnant. Kate smiled.

"please Jack, this is private, nobody can know."

"You're not going to tell Jin?" Kate couldn't believe it. She knew that a marriage survived on honesty and loyalty among other things and she couldn't believe that she wasn't going to tell Jin. Of course, she reminded herself yet again of when Jin had learned she spoke English.

"In time I will, it's just-it's complicated."

"As complicated as Kin being the last one on the island to find out you spoke English? Sun, my advice, and it's just that because I'm the last person to ask about this, but," Jack bit his lip and Kate tried not to sigh. She loved it when he did that.

"You should tell him. Ad when you do you should tell him everything. The whole truth."

Kate looked down. The whole truth…She realized she'd be pondering that sentence later on.

"I'm going to get back to the hatch. Congratulations Sun." Jack said and turned to leave.

_Wait, he's leaving? He just got here! There is definitely something going on…_Before she knew it, she was confronting him. "You've been down there a lot Jack." Kate rushed out, then slowed down and gave him a once over. "Is everything ok?"

Jack turned around and looked at her. Kate's breath got caught in her throat. Was that _hurt_ she saw in his eyes?

"Sure yeah. Everything's fine." He nodded and gave her a small smile then he left.

Kate sighed. That was obviously all she was going to get from him.

A/N: Sorry for the long wait! I'll try to get the next chapter up faster. This story is going to end at the end of S.O.S. if you are wondering. And of course it will be a different ending. The next chapter will start with a letter. 


	5. Lockdown

Chapter 5 Lockdown

Disclaimer: I don't own LOST.

A/N: Sorry for the wait. There's not a lot of letters in this one. There won't be many more. This story is about the letters, but it's also all about Kate's perspective. So I will try to fit the letters in, but it's hard when she's very active.

Kate smiled. She had won that round. "You want to play again?" She looked at Sawyer.

She wasn't sure of how they had gotten started, he had come over and talked to her for no reason and asked her if she wanted to play poker with him. She decided it was time to have some fun and she really wanted to beat him and she had.

Sawyer grumbled and shuffled the cards. "You're no fun Freckles."

Kate laughed. "Well maybe you need to take some lessons." She turned and looked behind her. She saw Jack talking to Hurley. He was asking where Ana was and he seemed frustrated. She rolled her eyes and turned around.

"You worried about the Doc there Freckles?"

"Just deal the cards Sawyer."

Sawyer gave her a look and started dealing the cards. "Hey Hurley."

Kate watched Hurley walk over.

"You wanna play?"

"Poker?"

"Yeah."

"Sure I guess."

Kate moved so that she was next to Sawyer and let Hurley take her seat on the other side. This way she could keep an eye on Jack. He was talking to Claire and holding the baby. She was glad that he was at least out of the hatch for once. There was something going on there that he wasn't talking about.

Sawyer dealt out cards to Hurley and Kate and they started playing.

"Kate? It's your turn." Hurley said, making Kate focus back on her cards.

"What? Oh. Ok." Kate looked at her cards and played her turn. Now Jack was talking to Libby.

"I bet four papayas." Hurley said.

"You can bet. I just bet. You can either call or raise or lay em down, Muttonchops."

Hurley looked at Kate. "Don't look at me."

"Lay 'em down Hurley. He's got you beat."

Kate looked up.

Jack played poker? She learned something new every day.

"You've got a baby straight. He's got the flush."

"What about me?" Kate asked him.

"Hard to say, but you're just playing for the fun of it."

Kate squinted a little. "Well fun's not bad. You should try it some time." She waited for a response but he just said he had to get back to the hatch. She tried not to roll her eyes. There it was again, that hatch.

"Hatch ain't going no where Doc. How about you put your mangos where your mouth is?"

Kate smiled and looked at Sawyer. If he could get Jack to play and stay away from that hatch then anything could happen.

"I guess I can play a few rounds." Jack set his backpack down and sat across from Kate. Kate tried not to drop her jaw but it was hard not to. Kate looked down at her cards. Now she really had to concentrate.

"What's going on over there?" Libby asked.

"Jack and Sawyer are finally going to beat each other up." Hurley said and handed her the binoculars.

Kate smiled. Jack had beat Sawyer and it had been hilarious. She hadn't seen Jack this carefree in a long time.

"Hey can I have those binoculars?" Kate asked Libby.

Libby smiled and handed them to her. Kate shook her head. She had thought it had been really funny when Hurley had gone running to Sayid asking for the binoculars.

Kate put them up to her eyes and looked through them. She noticed that both Jack and Sawyer were smiling and that made her happy. They were obviously having fun with each other.

Later on that night Kate sat against a tree and stared out at the beach. Jack had actually stayed on the beach the rest of the day. It was getting dark and she was guessing that he was going back to the hatch soon. She wanted to go and talk to him though. She tried to think of some excuse and finally she came up with needing a shower. So now she watched him carefully so that when he left she could follow him. But before she went after him she wrote in her journal.

_Dear Jack,_

_Staying out of the hatch for the day huh? What a concept. I'm going to get the answers out of you someday. I can't believe you actually played poker today. I'm glad you beat Sawyer. The look on Sawyer's face was priceless. Learning that you play poker reminded me that you have a lot of secrets. I hope one day we can sit and share some secrets together. _

_Love, Kate_

Kate shut her journal and stuck it in her backpack and then ran to catch up to Jack, her heart beating fast.

"Hey! Hey Jack! Wait up. You headed to the hatch?" Well of course he was heading to the hatch. She mentally slapped herself. _Great job at getting his attention Kate._

Jack turned around. "Yeah."

Well he obviously was in no mood to talk to her. Well here goes nothing. "Mind if I join? It's been a while since I had a shower and I was just hoping that-"

"Actually the plumbing's busted." Jack interrupted her.

"Busted?" Kate couldn't believe it. Jack hadn't even let her talk. Would it kill him to not be in the hatch for a couple more minutes?

He said something about the pipes being broken but she hadn't really listened. "Oh well I guess I wasted a trip then." She said mostly to herself. She couldn't believe him. She had gone and tried to talk to him and he just wasn't biting.

"Well I'll let you know as soon as we get things worked out down there."

_Yeah I'm sure you will. _Kate thought to herself. "Right." She turned around to leave but then she decided she'd give it one more try. She turned around again and faced him. "I'm glad you beat Sawyer."

Jack smiled and Kate started breathing again. So he actually did still care for her in some form.

"You know what? The hatch can wait until morning if you'd like me to walk you back to the beach." Jack bit his lip and looked at her and Kate wanted to throw her arms around him. He was actually putting her before the hatch.

He did still care. She averted her eyes anywhere from his so that she could calm herself down but then she noticed something. "Do you see that?" Kate saw a sort of strobe light. She looked back at Jack.

"Yeah."

They walked towards it together and Kate heard Jack say that it was a parachute. Kate looked at the packages and grabbed one. She also heard Jack tell her to wait but she ignored him. "It's food." She showed Jack the macaroni and cheese."

And then she heard Charlie. And that's where it got complicated.

……………

Kate stood steaming next to Ana and Charlie as Jack and Sayid interrogated Gale. She had no idea what was going on here but she guessed that there were no broken pipes. She looked at Ana. "Do you know what is going on here?"

"Yeah. Don't you?"

"No."

Ana gave her a smug smile and turned back towards the scene and Kate tried to fight the urge to strangle her. While she was strangling Ana she might as well strangle Jack as well. How dare he lie to her like this? She knew he was lying to her all along, but she didn't think it would be something this big.

Later on Kate was in the kitchen banging around. She had figured out what had been going on and now she was really mad. So to satisfy her anger she had gone into the little island kitchen and banged pots and pans around. Then she went to the sink and pulled on the nozzle. Sure enough, water came out of it in a steady flow.

Kate glared at it and turned it off.

Locke was still sitting on the couch while Charlie and Ana had left. Jack and Sayid were in the armory with Gale.

Locke paid no attention to Kate for some reason and that made her angrier and she didn't know why.

The armory door opened and Jack came out. "What the hell is going on out here?" He asked Kate.

"Nothing." Kate said.

"Well would you stop doing whatever you're doing out here?"

"Oh sorry, I didn't realize that what you were doing was so important." Kate said sarcastically.

"Look we've got a problem and it would really help if there weren't a lot of people there. Why don't you go back to the beach?" Jack said.

Kate just stared at him. "Ok fine."

Jack nodded. "Thanks." But she could tell that he didn't really mean it.

Kate watched him go back into the armory and then she put her ear up against the door and just heard Sayid asking Gale things but Gale was refusing to talk. Locke still hadn't said anything so Kate decided to leave. But before she did she just wanted to check the shower pipes.

Kate walked into the shower room and walked into the shower door and shut it. She put her hand on then nozzle, already knowing what the outcome was going to be. Her eyes welled with tears, hating herself more and more.

Kate slowly pulled the nozzle and burst into tears. Why was she so drawn to him? He was treating her like she meant nothing to him and she just kept going back for more. She turned off the water and opened the shower door, reaching for her diary from her backpack. She grabbed her pen and sat down in the shower and started writing.

_Jack,_

_This is getting insane. My emotions keep going up and down. So I've finally decided to stop loving you. I'm just going to stop. I know that a lot of stuff is going on and so you're distracted. But you could have at least told me about this guy you've been keeping down here. I just can deal with you anymore. It's getting too complicated._

_Kate_

Kate put the pen down and closed her diary and leaned against the shower wall. Before she knew it, she was asleep.

A/N: Ok so this is a long chapter. And I know that Jack is kind of acting like a jerk in this, but that will change before the end. I think there will be two more chapters because I want to split SOS into two chapters since it is so long unless I can figure out something to make it shorter.


	6. Dave

Chapter 6 Dave

Disclaimer: I don't own LOST.

A/N: I am so sorry guys for the extremely long wait. Thanks for sticking around so long. I will update quicker this time I promise. I am working on the last couple of chapters and I am hoping to finish this story by the end of this month.

"Kate? Kate?"

Kate felt someone softly shaking her.

She opened her eyes and found Jack to be staring at her.

"What do you want?" Kate mumbled.

"Kate you fell asleep in the shower somehow. I just thought maybe you'd like to go somewhere more comfortable." Jack suggested.

Kate squinted at him. _Comfortable? I'll show him comfortable. _"No thanks. I probably won't sleep anymore anyways now that I'm awake."

"Oh, I'm sorry for waking you." Jack's stared at her, and she felt like he was trying to get inside her, and she didn't like it.

"What happened with Gale?" She knew things were awkward. Kate was sitting in the shower and Jack was kneeling down beside her. She didn't understand why he suddenly cared so much.

Jack turned and sat beside her on the ground. "Absolutely nothing." He said, frustrated.

"I'm sorry." Kate looked at him and he looked at her. She felt her heart beating, and she immediately reminded herself of the anger she had felt towards him a few hours ago. She looked down again.

They sat like that for a few seconds, and finally Jack talked again.

"Well I should probably go check out Locke."

"I'll help you." Kate offered, hating herself.

"Yeah ok."

He stood up and held out a hand to help Kate up. She took it and stood up. She froze as he looked at her again. Finally he looked away and let go of her hand. As she followed him out she fought the urge to shiver.

Jack walked over to Locke and began to make him try to move his legs. Kate stood in the doorway watching, and then she asked Locke how he was.

A little while later Kate was headed to the beach to pick up the crutches for Locke and she spotted Sun walking towards her.

"Kate!" Sun called to her.

"Hi Sun." Kate smiled.

"Did you hear?"

"Hear about what?"

"Hurley beat Sawyer up."

"What?"

"It's true. Everyone finds it funny, but don't worry, I made Jin make them stop."

"So where is Sawyer now?" Kate asked, grinning.

"He's at his tent, trying to put it back together."

Kate nodded and glanced over at his tent. Sure enough, Sawyer was there. She smiled to herself. He seemed fine to her of course his large ego was probably damaged, not that she cared or anything. She would have loved to have seen it. She headed towards Jack's tent, which had sort of become like the medical tent as well. Ever since he had moved back to the beach he had kept some medical supplies in there just in case. She remembered him telling her that just a few seconds could count towards saving a life.

She quickly looked for the crutches and left. She felt weird being in the place that he slept in, of course, he hadn't been in his tent for over a week since he started sleeping in the hatch.

She walked over to Sawyer and leaned on the crutches. "I heard about what happened."

"Oh did you? And what exactly did you hear?" Sawyer drawled as he continued to work on his tent.

"Hurley beat you up." Kate tried not to smile.

Sawyer turned around. "He attacked me! I was sittin there mindin my own damn business, and he attacks me! It ain't my fault."

"So he just attached you huh?"

Sawyer glared at her. "Try to contain yourself Freckles." He turned back towards the tent and Kate walked around him.

"What? I'm worried. You look like you got your ass kicked."

"Don't you got an adventure to get to? I think Timmy fell down a well that way."

Kate watched him for a second. His ego was definitely damaged, with Jack beating him at poker and now with Hurley beating him up, he was probably really hurting. Maybe now would be a good time to talk to him.

"Seriously though, why would Hurley of all people?"

"I've got no idea. I didn't do nothing. He just hulked-out on me."

"For no reason at all?" Kate prodded.

"Okay, you walk of and have yourself a nice long giggle. But steer clear-the man is crazy."

It was obvious to Kate that Sawyer wasn't planning on having some big conversation wit her, and it's not like she wanted to anyways. He didn't seem to care at all about anyone, and she was still mad at him. She decided that the best thing to do would be to just leave and go back to the hatch.

She went back to the hatch and set Locke's crutches down beside his bed. He was asleep.

Jack came out of the computer room then. "Hey."

"Hey." Kate said.

"What took you so long?"

Kate sighed. " I didn't know I was on your time frame."

"You're not, I'm just wondering."

"I was talking to Sawyer." Kate said secretively.

Jack's eyes narrowed. "Oh."

"I'm going back to the beach. I'll see you later." Kate started to walk out. If Jack really wanted her, now would be the time for him to act. But of course, he didn't. Kate felt his eyes following her as she walked out.

That night she got out her journal and wrote in it for a short time and then she went to sleep.

_Jack,_

_I can't do this. I keep going back and forth. I try to forget about you, but I can't when you are standing right beside me. It's just not fair. I have decided to wait and let you approach me. You act like you love me once second, and the next you act like you hate me. You need to decide how you feel, and I'll give you some time. _

_Kate_

She was glad she had started this journal. It was very therapeutic, but at the same time it made her worry and wonder what would happen if Jack ever saw it.

A/N: Ok there is probably two more chapters in this, maybe three. SOS is going to be pretty long. Thanks for waiting so long. I promise you all will like the ending.


	7. SOS Part 1

Chapter 7- S.O.S Part 1

Disclaimer: I don't own LOST.

A/N: So here is it, the episode that I have been wanting to write. So this is my take on the episode, of course up until the last scene. Then that's where it's going to get different.

Kate sat up against the tree enjoying the scenery. She told herself that she was going to set aside the day as a day for her. She'd do what she wanted, and she certainly not go anywhere near Jack. She watched Sawyer walk across the beach and realized that he was coming up to her.

"Hey." Sawyer said. To Kate it seemed like he was nervous.

Kate didn't say anything but just looked at him.

"So.. what are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Kate realized she sounded mean, but she was fed up with both him and Jack.

"Well if you're not doing anything…"

"What do you want?"

"Well I'm thinking of getting some mussels. You wanna help?"

Kate smiled at how hopeful he was. This was obviously his way of apologizing to her.

She let him stand there squirming for a couple seconds before she answered. "Sure." She stood up and walked with him to the shore.

She lost track of how much time they spent together, but she had a lot of fun and she had forgotten all of her problems. Sawyer usually did that to her.

But Sawyer was having a lot of fun with making fun of her, so finally she had enough. "You want to help or not? Because I've got better things to do with my time." She stared at him and he stared back at her.

But then his gaze shifted somewhere else. "Oh happy day, here comes Doctor Giggles."

Kate looked back and sure enough there was Jack.

"Hey." Jack looked at her.

She just stared at him.

"Hey yourself." Sawyer said.

"I'm going back into the jungle to talk to our friend with the beard, see if we can make a trade." Jack said.

He was still looking at her. Why was he still looking at her? He had to be inviting Sawyer. He would never want to endanger her again, that had been obvious from the last time.

"Ah the old prisoner exchange. And you're inviting me along because you want a gun. Huh?"

Jack looked at Sawyer finally and Kate allowed herself to breathe.

"I'm not inviting you. I'm inviting Kate. And I've already got a gun, but thanks for offering."

Kate's heart leaped into her chest. Had she just heard correctly? He was actually reaching out to her.

"How the hell did you get a gun?" Sawyer asked. To Kate he seemed to be hurt that Jack was asking Kate instead of Sawyer.

"Does it matter?" Jack asked, and then he looked down at Kate.

Kate looked up at him. "I'll get my things." If Kate hadn't have known better, she might have thought that Jack's eyes had lit up in that brief second.

Kate grabbed her backpack from her tent as Jack followed her.

"You ready?" he asked her.

"Ready when you are."

They started the trek with Kate following Jack, and for a while neither of them spoke, but finally Kate decided it was time for them to talk.

"I'm flattered."

Jack looked back at her. "Yeah why's that?"

"Because you chose me to go with you instead of Sawyer."

"I asked Sayid first but he turned me down. And I only asked you because they don't want you. They grabbed you, had you at gunpoint. They could have kept you but they didn't. Then again, they didn't really want me either."

_Gee Jack, thanks for making me feel special._ She rolled her eyes but kept on. "Damaged goods, both of us."

Jack stopped and they both looked at each other. Kate felt the intensity of his gaze, and she fought to keep contact with him, but then he started walking again.

Kate watched him for a second, and then looked away and spotted a doll. "What's that?" she moved towards it and she heard Jack call her.

"It's a doll." She reached for it and she heard Jack yell at her but she ignored him once again.

It was a blur to her but Jack had his arms around her as they both were scooped up into the net.

"Sorry." Kate said immediately. At first she tried to stay away from him, but then she realized that there was no use and so she let herself fall up against him. Kate waited for him to reprimand her.

"You okay?" Jack asked her breathlessly.

Kate looked at him. "Yeah."

He smiled at her and Kate couldn't help but smile herself. "Oh good, so you can hear me?"

Kate looked away.

"This isn't one of theirs." Jack said.

"No, it's not sophisticated enough. It must be one of Rousseau's traps, so hopefully she's not far from here."

"It could be a week before she shows up."

Kate's heart sank. Then again, She thought. It wouldn't be all that bad to be trapped with him for a week.

Kate realized that Jack was moving around so she asked him what he was doing. He told her he was trying to get the gun. Without thinking, Kate reached around his waist and grabbed the gun for him. She tried to stall as much as possible because she loved the feeling of having her arms around him.

"Give me the gun." Jack told her.

"Why? What for?"

"I'm going to try to shoot the rope."

Kate started to aim for the rope as Jack protested. "I'm a better shot than you are."

"Oh really?"

Kate glanced at Jack and saw that he was smiling at her. "Yeah, I told you. I grew up hunting with my dad." Kate aimed, but at the last second she decided to miss on purpose. "Damn!"

"Well at least they know where we are. Okay, now give me the gun."

"Are you going to waste another bullet?" Kate had no idea if Jack had ever shot a gun so she was sure that this was going to be fun.

Jack laughed and Kate felt her heart burst with excitement. "We'll still have thirteen more to shoot each other with." He gave her another smile. "Come on."

She hadn't seen him this carefree in a while. "Fine. You have a better angle than mine anyway."

"Oh that's going to be your excuse when I make the shot?"

Kate realized that if Jack did make the shot then he would probably rub it in her face. "When you make the shot."

Jack aimed and shot, and suddenly they were falling to the ground.

They both broke out in laughter as she lay on top of him. "Nice shot." Kate said.

They laid there recovering and Kate wondered how long Jack would let her lay on top of him like that.

"Okay so how are we gonna get out of this?" Jack asked.

Apparently he wouldn't let her lay there for long.

"Well, I'll try to slide over, like this." Kate slid to the side and soon she was laying on her back beside Jack in the net.

Jack got out quickly and noticed that it started to rain.

"Here." He lended her a hand as she slowly stood up. They stood there like that for a second before they continued on. Kate sighed. She should have known that it wouldn't have lasted long.

"What did you mean back there?" Jack asked.

"What?"

"In the net, you said they were sophisticated. The Others."

Kate's heart sank. She had slipped and now she had no way out of it.

He stopped and turned to look at her. She stopped in front of him.

"Last week, when the baby got sick, Claire and I went into the jungle, and uh, found another hatch."

"What?"

Kate could tell that Jack was getting mad.

Kate told him about the medical station and watched as Jack seemed to look betrayed.

"When were you going to tell me this?" Jack demanded.

Kate watched him for a second, not believing what she was hearing. "When you decided to let me back in the club." Jack gave her a look and started walking again. "What? You can keep one of them locked up in the hatch for like a week and say nothing, but then when I-" Kate stopped as Jack stopped in front of her.

"We're here."

"Are you sure?"

Jack started pointing at places and soon he was in the middle of the clearing yelling.

"Jack!"

"I know you're out there, I know you can hear me!"

"Jack they're not here!"

"I'll be right here until you talk to me, I'll be right here!"

Kate groaned and realized that it was going to be a really long night.

A/N: I'm so sorry that this took so long! I know I said I wanted to finish this before December ended but I just got too busy. I will update sooner and that will be the last chapter.


	8. SOS Part 2

Chapter 8 S.O.S. Part 2

Disclaimer: I don't own LOST.

A/N: Okay here is the last chapter! I am sad to see it go, but it means that I will slowly start to finish all my many other stories I have going right now. Anyways, most of this chapter is made up besides the few famous lines. This is pretty long because I really wanted this to be extra jatey to make up for the lack of jateness on the show.

It was now dark and Jack refused to sit. It had stopped raining a couple of hours ago and now Kate was trying to gather wood for a fire. It was obvious that Jack wasn't going to go anywhere anytime soon and Kate wasn't going to leave without Jack.

Kate threw all the wood she had gathered and put in it a pile. She walked over to Jack, who was standing in the middle of the clearing still. He hadn't yelled for a while as his voice had gone out.

"Jack they're not coming, why don't you come sit down?" Kate suggested, pointing to a huge log she had found.

Jack looked at her and seemed to be thinking about sitting down.

"If they come, you'll still see them."

"They'll come." Jack said firmly.

Kate sighed. "Just sit down and rest. You can barely talk."

Jack finally nodded and together they walked to the log. They sat down and Kate fumbled for the fruit in her backpack as Jack pulled out his water bottle from his backpack.

Kate took out some apples and handed him one.

Jack gave her a small smile as he took it. "Thanks. When did you pick these?"

"When you were yelling," Kate said with a knowing smile.

"Oh." Jack bit into the apple. "This is really good."

Kate smiled again and looked down as she bit into her own apple.

"Do you want some water?" Jack offered her his bottle.

Kate stared at it for a second before she took it. She still hadn't gotten used to sharing water bottles with other people, not that she minded sharing one with Jack.

"Listen, I'm going to go look for some more firewood." Kate stood up and grabbed her backpack.

Jack looked up at her. "I'll go with you. You shouldn't be out there alone right now."

"I'll be fine. I can take care of myself."

Jack stood up. "I don't want anything to happen to you again."

Kate noticed that his voice had faltered.

"I'll be fine. I promise I won't go too far away."

"Kate…"Jack looked away for a second then looked back at her. "Okay. Just be careful. If anything happens just scream." He pulled the gun out of his waistband and handed it to her. "Here."

"Thanks." Kate nodded at him as she walked away. When she knew she was far enough away from him she sat on the ground and pulled out her journal. She didn't want to forget this day and she wanted to write about it, not that she ever thought that she would forget.

_Dear Jack,_

_Well there you go again. You really have me in your grasp. I can't quit thinking about you and being around you now makes my heart beat so fast. You reached out to me. I can't believe it. I really hope that we can work through everything so that it's not so awkward between us. You mean so much to me. I've decided that I'm going to burn this journal. If you ever read it I think you will hate me, or at least be mad at me. I don't want to risk you being mad at me again. I like being where we are now. Of course I'd love for it to be more, but being friends again like we used to is nice too. _

_Love, Kate. _

Kate smiled as she closed the journal. She thought that it was a nice last entry. She was planning on burning the journal as soon as they got back to camp. She just couldn't risk him reading it. It would be embarrassing.

Kate stood up and quickly walked back before Jack got worried.

Sure enough, Jack was pacing around the fire.

"What's wrong?" Kate asked.

"Well finally! Where were you?"

"I was looking for wood like I told you."

"You don't have any!"

"I-I couldn't find any!" Kate stammered.

Jack threw up his hands. "I was so worried. What if they had gotten you? I would have not even known."

"You were worried about me?" Kate smiled.

Jack looked away. "Of course."

Kate handed him the gun and he looked at her again and then they both looked away.

They sat down then and Kate couldn't stop her heart from beating. He cared for her. He really did.

They sat there in the uncomfortable silence for at least fifteen minutes before Kate talked. "How long are you going to wait Jack?" Not that Kate minded sitting there alone with him. It had been so hard to get him to talk to her in the past couple of weeks and now he was sitting right next to her, with no where to go.

"Until I get my voice back. Then I'm going to yell some more."

Kate realized that it was going to take something big for him to give up and go back. She knew that the Others weren't going to show up, but she also knew Jack and knew that he wouldn't stop until something happened.

"Maybe they can't hear you."

"They can hear me." Jack's voice was hoarse but she could still detect the determination in his words.

Kate sighed and looked at the fire. Suddenly she decided that this was her chance to get him to talk to her. They were finally on speaking terms, but she wanted things to be okay with them.

"I'm sorry I kissed you." Kate said quickly, avoiding his gaze. He didn't answer for a long while and her heart continued to beat faster and faster, and finally it sank.

"I'm not."

Kate whipped her head around to look at him. He was looking at her hopefully, with a sincere expression on his face.

For a second she had to remind herself to speak. "You're-you're not?"

Jack stared at her. "I'm not." He repeated.

"Well," Kate said slowly. "Neither am I."

Jack grinned. "You just said you were."

"Yeah but that was before I knew how you felt." Kate admitted.

"You didn't know that?"

"How could I know? You've been ignoring me for days!"

"Ignoring you? You're the one that's been avoiding me!" Jack said.

"What?!"

"You ran Kate, remember?"

Kate looked down. "I guess what I should have said was that I'm sorry I ran, but I'm not sorry that I kissed you. I just.. I was going through a lot at the time, I was stressed, and you were there for me. Before I knew it, I was kissing you. I was afraid that I wasn't good enough for you, so I ran. It's what I do." Kate whispered the last part and looked into the fire again, not sure of what Jack was going to say.

For a few minutes, Jack didn't say anything.

Kate felt Jack's fingers softly take her chin into his hand as he turned her to look at him.

"Kate, when you ran, I felt so hurt and confused. After that, you didn't look at me. I decided to give you some space. I'm sorry that I was so mean to you afterwards. I just didn't want you to get hurt. When you got taken by the Others, it scared me so much. I'm sorry. I know I did avoid you after that and I shouldn't have. It was wrong of me."

"You hurt me Jack. You yelled at me, and then you refused to tell me anything. I missed you." Kate looked down again, afraid she had said too much.

"Hey. Kate. I missed you too." Jack said softly. "I missed talking to you. I missed your laugh, your smile, but most of all, I missed the way that you made me feel when you were around me. I wanted to talk to you, but when you started hanging around Sawyer more and more, I just thought that you didn't feel the same way, so I gave you some space."

"You were hanging around with Ana Lucia. You were confiding in her Jack. Do you know how that made me feel? I felt hurt. I thought that you had replaced me with her."

Jack smiled and looked away. "I guess we both just misunderstood each other huh?"

"Yeah I guess so."

"Well I hope that doesn't happen again." Jack looked at her once more and she looked at him.

"So you really missed me?" Kate smiled.

"Yeah, I did."

"You don't know how that makes me feel."

"Well if you feel like how I feel right now then I probably do."

"So.. friends?" Kate asked.

Jack's face fell instantly. "Friends?"

"What?"

"Well I was hoping that you would want to be more than that."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I thought that was obvious."

"Well it's hard to tell with you sometimes Jack."

"Well hopefully this will clear things up."

Kate watched as Jack leaned into kiss her, and she closed her eyes as their lips met.

Kate reached for his face much like she did the first time, and Jack put his arms around her and pulled her close to him. Soon she was almost in his lap.

Kate could go on forever kissing him, and she wished that she could but her lungs were telling her otherwise as she pulled away a little.

"Oh no you don't." Jack pulled her back and kissed her again.

Kate pulled away again and gasped for air as she reluctantly opened her eyes.

Jack opened his too but he didn't let go of her.

"You're not going to run are you?" Jack asked in part fear and part fun.

"No. I just have to breathe every once in a while. Don't you?"

"No." Jack smiled.

Kate looked at him with a playful expression on her face.

"Okay yes." Jack admitted.

Kate leaned in to kiss him again but she pushed too hard and they fell off the log.

They started to laugh and but then Jack silenced her with a kiss.

"I love you." Jack said tenderly in between kisses.

They stopped for a second and they stared at each other. Jack had dared to say the three words that she had wanted to hear.

"I love you too." Kate said breathlessly and Jack let out a huge sigh.

"Okay good, or else this would be really awkward." Jack laughed.

Kate got off of Jack and sat up, remembering the journal in her backpack.

"What's wrong?" Jack asked as he sat up too.

"I just need to do something." Kate got up and grabbed her backpack and pulled out the journal.

"What's that?" Jack asked as he joined Kate on the log where she had sat.

Kate smiled and held the journal tight in her hands.

"This Jack, is my letters that I've been writing, to you." Kate nervously glanced at Jack.

"What?"

"I missed talking to you so much that I started to write letters to you." Kate gave a tiny laugh. "Isn't that pathetic?"

Jack's face was serious. "Can I read them?"

"I-I don't know if you should. In some entries I was mad, and in others I was kind of lovesick, if you know what I'm saying."

Jack took the journal in his hands. "Well if you don't want me to, then I won't."

"Why don't you just read the first and the last one?" Kate suggested. "The middle ones are kind of insane."

Jack started to open it, but then he quickly closed it. "Kate these were your personal thoughts. You've already told me of how you felt during the last couple of weeks. If there's more, I'm sure you'll tell me."

Kate nodded. "Okay. I want to burn the journal."

"I think that's a good idea. Burning this journal will signify a new chapter in our life, don't you think? I hope that it will be a promise to both of us, that we will try to be more understanding with each other, and that we will always be there for each other no matter what."

"I like that."  
Kate carefully took the journal from Jack and stared at it. "This had been of great comfort to me you know. It helped a lot. But I know that from now on I won't need to write letters to talk to you. You'll be there for me." Kate smiled at him and then took a deep breath as she threw the journal in the fire.

Jack put his arm around Kate as they watched it slowly burn.

"Things are going to change now huh?" Kate asked.

"Yeah. Yeah they are." Jack nodded. "But I think that things will change for the better."

Suddenly Kate heard rustling in the trees and Jack quickly stood up and took the gun out.

They both walked towards the figure that stumbled forwards and suddenly fell into the grass.

Kate and Jack walked over to it and Kate turned him over.

"It's Michael."

A/N: Yay it's over! Thank you for being loyal reviewers and putting up with my lack of updates! Please let me know what you thought of this!


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